Dad jokes about teachers

Did you hear about the teacher who was allergic to students' questions? She had to take tests.

  • Why do teachers always give out stickers as rewards instead of chocolate bars? Well, because they want students’ “behavior” to be sweet and not too sticky!
  • How does a teacher fix her hair before class? With a ruler, because she always has one under hand!
  • Why did the history book feel sad? Because it had too many problems from the past!
  • Why did the science teacher take out his doorbell? He wanted to win the ’no-bell’ prize for most creative experiment!
  • What do you call a can opener that’s also a great teacher? A ‘classy’ can opener – it’s a real ‘grade-A’ helper!
  • Where do teachers go on vacation? Times Square!
  • What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says “Spit that gum out!” and a train says “Chew chew!”
  • How do bees get to school? The school buzz!
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  • Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
  • Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during exams? To hide her eyes from looking at all the wrong answers!
  • How do teachers organize their parties? By subject, so everyone knows where they stand!
  • Why did the teacher take her class on an endless field trip? Because she wanted them to have a lesson that would last forever!
  • What do you call a group of teachers protesting outside the school? A teach-in!
  • Why did the teacher bring her pet rock to class? Because she wanted to ensure it had a solid foundation in math!
  • Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in class? Because her students were so bright!
  • What did the school principal say to the student who kept falling asleep in class? “You’re ‘failing’ to stay awake, but I’m ‘passing’ on giving you detention!”
  • What’s a math teacher’s favorite season? Sum-mer!